Saturday, April 30, 2005


Grow up.


I just want to apologize to everyone who read my last entry, and especially to you, Brynn. Today I just woke up pissed off at the whole world, and I don't know why, and I took it out on here making everyone who read it, I'm sure, feel like they're a useless part of my life.

That is far from the case- each and every single one of you have impacted me in some way, and have made my life better in ways that I can't describe in words or pictures or feelings, and I guess I just snapped at life today and took it all out on the people I care about.

I wish I had never posted that, but I did, and it was stupid of me.

Everyone- Brynn, Dawn, Allie, Lies, Heather, Cari... anyone who reads this blog- I just want to say I'm sorry and that I'm stupid and that I fucked up big time. I took out all my frustrations and made it seem like it was all your fault, but it's not. You all listen to me like no other, and for that I am extremely grateful, I just hope you can all forgive me.

Thursday, April 28, 2005

Tobacco bins 1, Shane's thumb 0

I was putting away my smoke order, and I went to move two empty smoke bins with one hand. My thumb got caught in between them, got a little bit crushed and took a nice bit of skin off. Betty came by and was all "oh good, the smoke order is here." "I woulda been done it by now had I not crushed my thumb." "Oh no! Are you okay?" "Yah, just a bit of skin." "Do you want a bandaid?" "The first aid kit is like 10 feet away, if I wanted one I'd have gotten one, and if I was in alot of pain you would have known." "Oh, good point. Well, if you're okay, can you pull a 25 for me?"

I like freaking out my supers.

On another note, Dan actually did have a PD day yesterday, which is odd seeing as it was the middle of the week. I still think he'll be getting the boot though.

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

So Dan didn't go to class today

and I called my dad from work saying he didn't, and Dan had said he had a PD (professional development) day. I call bullshit, because those don't happen in the middle of the week. Dad said he'd call mom, and I'm sure I'll find out from someone what happened. So what am I saying? Dan's probably gonna be expelled by the end of the week.

I started reading The Jungle the other night, and I can only get through a few chapters a night. Normally, if I put my mind to it and I'm not tired, I can read about 100 pages a night if I really want to. It's not this book is a really hard read or anything, just the subject matter (turn of the 20th century slaughterhouses for those who don't know) and the way it's described, just appalls me. It gives me the chills and makes me sick knowing that's what happened in slaughterhouses. Oh man.

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Brynn has a canvas with a lily on it and it's name is Mia

So Brynn is painting a Hawaiin landscape, and as I did not know how long the paint took to dry, I said I should buy some and find out. Now I'm gunna be buying paints and brushes and canavases and am gunna try to make something that doesn't look like crap.

Sunday, April 24, 2005

Books, movies, music

Recommend books, movies and bands I may like. I need some new stuff. If you wanna know what I have, check out the link on the sidebar.

Saturday, April 23, 2005

"What do you think of our new pope?"

"Our new pope? He's your pope, not mine."
"What, how can you say that?"
"Easily, seeing I've denounced catholicism as my religion."

The conversations I have at work with the few religious people are fun.

I think my favorite part was when I asked how they could be part of a faith that would rather have millions of Africans have unprotected sex, contract and pass on AIDS, have children who in turn contract AIDS and eventually become orphaned, than have them use condoms.

They shut up pretty quickly.

I should mention that I know not all Catholics think that, and my comment was directed more towards the ones that do.


Friday, April 22, 2005

"Ambition's a tricky thing...’s like riding a unicycle over dental floss tightrope over a wilderness of razor blades."

I'm trying to find it in me. I'm sitting here squandering precious time, trying to find something, though I know I can try harder. Knowing I have to try harder. 20 years old and I'm still a kid. 20 years old and I can't set myself on anything. I guess I'm scared of change, though I NEED to make change, though I WANT to make change. I know I'm frustrating people, people I care about who see so much in me, and I see it in myself. I want to make a life for myself. I want to make a life with Brynn, and have babies and cats and dogs and birds and a fucking cliche picket fence and a porch with a weathered rocking chair on it. This isn't the movies Shane- this is life and what you do is what happens in it. There's no script. There's no director to yell "cut! let's try that again".

"There's no fate but we make of ourselves."

Thank you Sarah Connor. I know that and believe that to my very core.

I just need to act on it.

I don't know how you people can put up with me being like I am. Thank you for taking the time to read this. Thank you all for everything you've given me. Do me one favor though;


Thursday, April 21, 2005

Nick Nolte, the pope, attachments, historical serial essay

Nick Nolte is probably one of the worst actors ever. His portrayal of Colonel Oliver (who I believe is supposed to represent Lt-Gen Romeo Dallaire, who WAS the leader of the UN forces in Rwanda) was laughable and almost painful to watch. Other than that, a fine movie. I might have to pick this one up.

I was gunna google some stuff about the new pope and try to form up a quasi-informed opinion, but I decided to beat Doom 3 instead. Maybe tomorrow. Or the weekend.

I finished Shadow of the Giant last night, and have decided I'm far too attached to those characters. I was angry, upset, surprised, puzzled, happy and a bevy of other emotions while reading the final chapter of Bean's story. I think Card might be able to squeeze out one more book, or a possible an extension of the series. I think Lies may plan on reading the books one day, so I won't put any spoilers, unless she has no problem with it. I will say that there is potential to tell another story.

I've decided to write the "Shane and Brynn: From cows in carts to love and outsmarts" (not really gunna be the title, but it is kind of funny) historical saga as a serial blog. I dunno why I'm deciding to do this- I guess I just think it'll be fun to look back on how I saw things come to be. I'm still right about the first phone call though.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Training day

I was planning on writing something about the new Pope, but I'm too tired. Maybe tomorrow. I'm also planning on writing out the history of Brynn and I, just for shits and giggles. Maybe tomorrow. Or the weekend. Or something.

I got to train Brea at work tonight, so that meant a lot of standing around and telling her what do to. I really didn't need to tell her what to do because she was doing fine on her own. I think she's picked up things faster then I did, and it'll be nice to have another good cashier up front to offset most of the shitty ones we have.

I have to find another e-card for Brynn so I can send it to her. Another month and a half and I'll be roasting my ass off in California. I can't wait.

Tuesday, April 19, 2005


We are done like dinner when cooked properly. Feel free to comment and junk like that, and if you have a link you want added, just let me know.

So this is really pissing me off

I've basically got it how I want to look, except for the comment link and the view my profile link.

This is a link to and I just wanna see how it looks.

New blog

So, as I'm sure you can all see, I made a new blog, mainly out of boredom. I'm gunna try to mess around with the look of this one as best I can.